The Prompt for this week is a topic and it is:
I wish I had more time…
This is going to be a hard post to write because when I first read this weeks Prompt my mind jumped straight to my beloved Mother-in-Law and the last time I spoke to her.
She had been in the hospice for a while, the operations, chemo and radiotherapy had ceased and the cancer was ravaging her body.
Her hair, once black, glossy and wavy with red undertones that would gleam in the sun was now short, spiky and patchy.
Her skin, which used to be a flawless almost olive in shade now hung translucent from her shrinking frame.
We knew the end was near but were all in denial as we tried to protect ourselves from the inevitable pain and then eventually the day came when we were told it was time to say goodbye.
She saw us all in groups; her children, her grandchildren, her siblings.
So I stood at the bottom of her bed with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law.
“I thought I had more time”, she said
“I thought I had time to take the grandchildren to the seaside, to sit outside a beach hut and watch them play,
I didn’t think it would end like this”.
She didn’t say it in a self pitying way, it was simply a statement.
It wasn’t meant to be this way.
She was so brave and so calm while I was a wreck.
I could’ve, should’ve been stronger for her
I managed to tell her, between sobs, that I loved her and how grateful I was for everything she did for us.
I am glad I had a chance to tell her.
But she should have had more time.